Merry Christmas!

It's the morning of Christmas Eve, and I wanted to send a little note to wish you all a Merry Christmas!

I've been MIA the last couple of weeks, since I've been working at closing out my time at PubCo. I didn't have a ton of work to do - mostly some research projects - but my brain had officially checked out by the time I registered for classes. It started to feel real - that I would be leaving, and that I would be starting on this new career path...and I just wanted to get started! So I said my goodbyes and my "let's have lunch" promises to people I wanted to keep in touch with, and that was it!

I only cried a little on my last day, and it was for the people I would miss seeing every day. And since my last day, I've been a little more emotional than usual, because my grandmother passed away. She was an amazing, strong Christian woman who took care of her family and was madly in love with my grandfather (who passed away a couple of years ago). She had Alzheimer's and we were expecting that things would get progressively worse, but it was still sad when we heard the news. But our joy is that she's hanging out with her husband in heaven!

So it's been a mixed bag this year for me for Christmas. It's been hard getting into the spirit of things with everything else going on, but there are little moments that are helping a lot. I taught a cooking class last week that ended with Christmas cookie decorating and it was silly and fun and I laughed until I cried. We put up our Christmas tree (which we named Bjorn), and it is completely lopsided. It rained for 5 days straight and even though I was absolutely sick of it by the end of it, I loved seeing my friends' pictures of the rainbow that happened on the last day of rain - everyone was so overjoyed that the sun had come out!

And this little thing - the lemons on my dwarf lemon tree decided to finally ripen this week. They'd been hanging out for a couple of months, waiting for just the right time, and they're finally ready. So I made a lemon glaze for some Christmas cookies and will be making lemon-walnut biscotti for New Year's. It's funny to me that when I'm supposed to be making spice cake and gingerbread (neither of which I'm a huge fan of), I've got these bright yellow orbs to cheer me up instead.


Next week, look out for a recipe for a new pasta sauce I've developed - it's perfect for a cold night in when you don't want to work too hard. For now, I'm off to finish my Christmas baking (Mexican Wedding Cakes and a Caramelized Apple Pie), and I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Support Systems

I've really been amazed at the amount of support people have been giving me when I tell them about my future culinary-related goals. Everyone, almost without fail, has said that my plans make perfect sense for my personality, my passion, and my values. I've heard a lot of compliments about my skills in the kitchen, along with "well, you like to make sure people are happy and satisfied, so now you can do that with food'. A few (perhaps more business-savvy) people have noted that I'm organized, plan well, and have developed good marketing and promotional skills at PubCo to draw on for a new business venture. If you know me, you know I love being complimented - so I love hearing all this!

The support is coming in more tangible ways as well. My sister has come with me to do some bakery research, and sends articles and links to other bakeries we should visit. One friend is brainstorming bakery names, another offers advice as a business owner herself, other friends take photos (and videos during cooking classes - ugh), and still others have offered to assist with marketing, wrapping, and even delivering my baked goods. Even my parents, who I thought might be a little nervous for my and Mountain Man's future, have been exceptionally supportive - buying a book on Lebanese baked goods for me, helping me figure out recipes, and offering suggestions and ideas for my potential future bakery.

I do have one person to win over. Already risk-averse, my mother-in-law seems quite concerned that I will ruin us with my new endeavor. OK, that may be a bit dramatic, but at dinner yesterday, she spent more than a few minutes telling me about bakeries and restaurants she knew of that had failed and neighbors that had started a restaurant and had to work constantly to make ends meet - and even with all that hard work, that restaurant folded as well. She also let me know that she was the only person in her Bible study that brought treats from a "real" bakery - the other members of the group bring things they either make themselves or that come from Costco. She prefaced all of this by saying "I don't mean to scare you..."

The funny thing is that those stories just fueled my desire to open my bakery and do a kickass job at it. I don't do well with people telling me something will be difficult or impossible - comments like that make me want to prove them wrong. So in a weird little way, I'm getting support from my mom-in-law as well. And much of her concern is just risk-related, not me-related.

But along with wanting to prove people wrong who think things will be difficult, I also know I would be a lot more hesitant to move forward if I didn't feel that my support system really supported me. The response has been so whole-heartedly positive that it makes me more confident that I can be successful.

I heard a great quote on a random PBS show a few weeks ago that went something like "All you have to do is redefine success." I think success can certainly come with money and prestige and being able to get everything you desire. But I think that success has everything to do with working hard, planning well, getting honest and solid market feedback, taking a risk at something you love, feeling confident that you've done everything you can to be successful, and knowing that the people you love and respect are behind you.

New Adventures

Some big things have happened in the past couple of weeks. Mountain Man got a job that will keep us in the area (and is better-paying). I had a couple of important conversations with my boss that have lead to me writing a letter of resignation.

It wasn't a bad situation - she asked me if I was any happier doing my job and I said no, I wasn't but I was going to continue doing my job until I found out whether I got in to culinary school. She was very supportive and said that baking was a perfect fit for my personality and for what I find to be important in life (not just baked goods, but also getting people together and making them happy). So that was encouraging. I went away to Arizona (see here), didn't have a great time, and came home to an invitation from my boss to have coffee and talk about "my situation" (to which I replied "it sounds like I'm knocked up in the 1800s).

During coffee, she said she had been thinking about what we had discussed, and she said she kept getting stuck on one question - "If she doesn't get into culinary school, would she want to remain at PubCo?" And that was the question she posed to me. It was a question I'd not truly asked myself, and she suggested I take some time to think about it - but that if my answer was "no" that her suggestion (as a friend) would be to come up with a Plan B and go ahead and resign now. And this wasn't done to push me out, I know that - but to get me to think about my options if I had to wait to attend culinary school. Stay at PubCo (bleh) or do something else (horray).

I took the weekend to discuss with Mountain Man, my parents, my sister, and my best friend. They all thought me resigning from PubCo would be just fine. With MM's new job and raise, we would be able to get by. I could freelance or work for my dad or get a part-time retail job. Or, the Plan B I landed on and am most excited about - I could figure out how to sell baked goods (pies, really) at farmer's markets and do that a few days a week. Doesn't that sound exciting?

So this past Tuesday, during my one-on-one with my boss, I told her that she was right. That the responsible thing for me to do for myself and for PubCo (since I didn't keep my mouth shut in the first place) would be to go ahead and resign. She said "I knew you were going to say that, but I was hoping you weren't" and was visibly saddened by my decision. She said she remains supportive, but I'm sure there's a little part of her that could have figured out how to make me stay. I wrote my letter on Wednesday, giving PubCo two months to find my replacement - my last day (still awaiting approval) will be December 17.

I'm so relieved. After sending the letter, I immediately felt exhausted - as if all the stress and frustration and anger was keeping me going, and now I had none of that to keep me moving. After a few days of needing some extra sleep, I'm doing much better. Even though I'm sad to be leaving my friends and the wonderful people I work with, I feel so much lighter having made this decision.

So I'm definitely doing this. Either culinary school or selling pies at farmer's markets - or something else entirely! I'm open to ideas (especially what to call a pie stand at a farmer's market) or suggestions or business opportunities (i.e. I'll make pies for your wedding or next event). Send them along!

Rustic French Desserts

This Saturday, my almond-flour-friend and I took a class on Rustic French Desserts by Clemence, who owns and runs Gourmandise Desserts. My friend had taken a class with her before, and told me she liked Clemence's style. I think we signed up for Rustric French Desserts because I wanted to take the Business of Baking class (which she had no need for), and my friend wanted to take a Cake Decorating class (to which I responded, when are you ever going to decorate a cake?), so we agreed on something useful and interesting to the both of us.

I have actually never taken a cooking class, which was a surprising realization for me. It made me start to think about how people learn how to cook, especially in light of the cooking class I taught a few weeks ago. There's always the opportunity to watch parents cook, as well as watching chefs on the Food Network cook. But you never really learn unless you do.

During the cooking class I taught, I tried to get all of my "students" (aka friends from work) to participate in the various tasks. Some came in with a lot of experience, having been cooking for their entire lives. Others came in with a few things under their belts and wanting to learn more. I think one friend had never used a hand-held mixer before. Another had trouble with making pasta and asked how to get pasta that wasn't either super al dente or much too mushy. Everyone participated, and I think (I hope) everyone left feeling confident that they could reproduce the dishes we made.

Clemence took the same approach in our class. There were eleven students, ranging from a 7th grade girl to her grandma, to a few other young people, to a couple of middle-aged women. Some came in with a good amount of experience baking at home, and others were starting from scratch. Clemence got everyone involved, and we made five different desserts in three hours.

We started out with a Tarte Tatin, making caramel in a cake pan, and placing sliced apples into the hot caramel to melt down before we covered the apples with puff pastry. I was in charge of slicing the apples and got started slicing them very thin...until Clemence told me to slice larger slices...and my friend told me to just slice the apples in eighths like Clemence asked. I got so caught up in wanting to do a good job that I just didn't pay attention! I was a little embarrassed, but Clemence had a very "let's move on" attitude, and so I did. But I took that little lesson to heart - in culinary school, I need to pay attention and do things the way I'm told - not the way I think would be prettiest or most impressive!

After the Tarte Tatin, we made mini-tarts with pastry cream and almond cream. I was impressed with Clemence's way of handling the materials. I tend to be extra careful with everything I bake, partly because I'm still learning techniques, but also because I think I have this idea that everything needs to be perfect to be delicious. She was rough with the tart dough, pressing it into the tart pans instead of carefully rolling it out with a pin on a lightly floured surface. She also just laughed when eggs were dropped instead of being properly separated and had us grab another egg and keep going. I think a great deal of that attitude comes with getting really comfortable with how things go with baking - it's not always going to be perfect, and (as she said) if things come out a little messy, you can always just call it "rustic".

We also made flourless chocolate cake and Honey Almond Chocolate Mousse (to which I've provided the recipe) which were both extremely easy. I ended up with chocolate on my shirt and under my nails, the leftover tart dough (which Clemence wasn't going to use so I took it) and with a box full of the desserts we made.

As we were packing up, I asked Clemence if she teaches full-time, or if she runs a bakery somewhere. She said she teaches and consults with chefs and restaurants that want to incoporate seasonal ingredients in their desserts. She said it was the best job in the world.

Teaching Cooking

I'll be teaching a cooking class tonight for some friends and thought I'd post the recipe for the main dish they'll be learning. This is a recipe I created based on a pasta dish I like at the Cheesecake Factory. If you try it, let me know how you like it!

Spicy Chicken Pasta
(Cooking Class #1)

Serves 6-8

Ingredients:

1 package fettuccine
2 Tbsp (Tablespoon) olive oil
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast tenders, cut into bite-sized chunks
3-4 cups chopped vegetables (I like red peppers, sweet peas, and asparagus and they should be chopped in bite-size chunks – not too small)
1 pint heavy cream
Up to 1 tsp. (teaspoon) of red chili pepper flakes (less if you like things a little less spicy)
½ tsp salt


Directions:

Cook and drain the pasta according to the package directions.

While the pasta is cooking, heat 1 Tbsp of the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add in the chicken and cook until the outside of the pieces is brown, and the inside is no longer pink (you can slice open one or two to check). Once the chicken is cooked, remove to a plate and cover to keep warm.

Add the remaining 1 Tbsp to the skillet, and then add the vegetables. Sauté until the veggies are cooked, but not wilted (they will start to look a little brighter colored). Mix the chicken back into the skillet, then cover and turn the heat off.

Pour the heavy cream into a small saucepan and turn the heat to medium-low. Add in the chili pepper flakes and the salt and stir until the sauce begins to bubble against the side of the pan. Once it bubbles, turn the heat off.

Combine the ingredients in the pot you cooked the pasta in. Mix the vegetables and chicken into the pasta, and then turn the heat on low underneath the pasta as you add in the sauce (you’ll want to keep it warm, and try to evaporate any extra liquid). Once everything’s mixed through, serve, with additional red chili pepper flakes on hand if needed.


Substitution:
If you’re feeling courageous and need more heat, omit the chili pepper flakes and instead, include one chopped chipotle pepper (or a portion of it, if you’re only feeling a little courageous). These usually come in small cans (in adobo sauce) that you can find in the Mexican food aisle of most grocery stores. Rinse off the sauce, and just add in the chopped pepper when you would have added the flakes. The remaining chipotle peppers can be individually wrapped in plastic wrap and frozen for the future.

Culinary School, Redux

I played a bit of hooky this morning to be able to take a tour of the culinary school I'm hoping to attend in January. Well actually, I woke up at 6:45 to get some work done, experienced a power outage at about 7:15, worked a little more, and then played a bit of hooky. I drove out to Santa Barbara and met the coordinator for the culinary arts department at SBCC.

She took me around the various kitchens and lab rooms and walked me through what happened in each space. One room for learning techniques, one kitchen for serving the faculty members, another kitchen for the gourmet meals that culinary students get to develop themselves and serve in the Thursday and Friday night "restaurant" on campus, another kitchen for the student cafeteria, and an entire kitchen devoted to baking, where all the baked goods for the entire campus get made!

She also walked me through the uniform ("Buy two, so you can wash one while you're wearing the other - bringing in the previous day's food is a sanitation violation."), the knife set ("Make sure you carry your knives in a case - do not walk around campus with knives out, because security will come and tackle you and the psychology students will have a field day analyzing you, even though you are very obviously a culinary student."), and some special classes they have on campus, including butchering ("I prefer my food already cooked, but the students had a field day and made sausage, ragu, and I don't know what else out of one pig.")

It was very obvious that she was used to starry-eyed kids who dream of being a chef one day and wanted to help get their heads on straight. At the end of our meeting, when I asked if I needed to come back for the interview mentioned on the website, she said "Oh, no - this is the interview. We just like to talk to anyone considering this program so we can be sure they're aware that this is hard work. It's not like being Rachel Ray." She went on to tell me that about half of the students who enroll each semester end up leaving the program because they really don't seem to understand that they need to follow the rules and show up to class and labs and wear a clean uniform every day. The "interview" is really them trying to get a sense of the level of starry-eyedness they're dealing with.

I think I did a good job of seeming reasonable and showing that I understood the amount of work that a program like this means. Although, after seeing an entire kitchen devoted to baking and hearing that I would get to make, like, 400 croissants every day (to which I thought, "I've always wanted to know how to make croissants!"), I can't help but feel a little starry-eyed.

Culinary School

Just a little note to share with you that I've just submitted an application to start culinary school in January. I've been thinking about it as a possible first-step in this whole corporate-worker-to-bakery-owner process and have decided that it's a very reasonable next step. I'd be able to imrpove on my cooking/baking/knife skills, and doing it at a local community college would be cost-efficient.

When I brought it up to my mom, she said "but you already know how to cook!" Valid point, but it's the restaurant management, sanitation, and how to keep a stocked pantry courses that would be most useful for the future.

And starting in January? I've decided that I'd rather not wait to get started on this next phase of my career and life. My chiropractor recently had a mini-stroke, and she's making some changes in her life because she's realized that life is short and could end at any time. I need to do this for me now - so I don't get stuck in a rut just because it's comfortable.

Culinary school would be a full-time endeavor...which would mean my term at PubCo would need to end, at least on a daily basis. My dad suggested what I had already been thinking - that there may be an opportunity to freelance for PubCo, especially since everyone could use the support and I already know the systems and procedures. If I'm allowed, and management doesn't hold a grudge, I'm on board.

I'll be sure to let you know once I'm officially accepted - I submitted the application, but I also need to go through the interview process they require. When that's all done, you'll all be among the first to know!

Breakfast? Or Dinner?

Mountain Man and I just spent 5 days in a car together, and I spent a lot of time bouncing ideas off him for the bakery and taking notes and jotting down ideas that seemed to resonate most. I got stuck on the following issue:

Would the bakery be most successful if we were open for breakfast and lunch OR lunch and dinner?

At this point, it doesn't make sense to consider being open all day. I definitely want to be open for lunch, since many of the recipes I'm working on are perfectly suited for lunch. But I'm not sure if I prefer breakfast or dinner as the other meal.

Breakfast gives the option of espresso drinks, smoothies, scones, muffins, and breakfast sandwiches and burritos. This weekend, MM had a breakfast burrito that was made out of tri-tip, salsa, cheese, potatoes, and eggs. We also had breakfast with the family, and my brother-in-law noted that the bakery needed to provide really good English muffins. Breakfast would allow for some creativity, and if it was in the right place (i.e. not close to a Starbucks or similar), it could become a go-to place for people who want something quick on the way to work. So breakfast sounds great to me.

But, dinner means not waking up at the crack of dawn, and it means that I would be making the same dishes for both lunch and dinner - I wouldn't really need to do anything different for the two mealtimes, besides making sure that there was enough for both lunch and dinner. It would be easier, but I'm not sure it would be as fun.

So, my question to you is this: Breakfast or Dinner?

Bakery Research

A couple of weekends ago, my sister and I went out to Joan's on Third for some bakery research. She had read a little story about them in Los Angeles Magazine and said that it seemed similar to what I was thinking of starting.



It's a family run marketplace, cafe, and catering company and it's extremely popular. When we got there, there was a line of people waiting to get a table, as well as long lines inside! We wandered around the store, taking in as much as we could while not stepping on people who were actually planning on eating there.

The marketplace aspect was most interesting to my sister, who has dreams of opening her own gourmet food store one day. They had everything you would need to make a picnic, bake some cookies, or have a low-effort meal at home. There was a refrigerator case that had soups and sauces on one side and handmade appetizers on the other. You could get fancy olives, oils, and vinegars as well as four kinds of Fleur de Sel and a bunch of different peppers and spices.



There were shelves and shelves of packaged candy, cookies, pretzels, and other snacks. We checked out the labels to see where they had been packaged, and they all said "Packaged by Joan's on Third" - perhaps indicating that they had bought in bulk and then divided everything into more manageable amounts. Not a bad idea.


We ended up buying about $40 of sweets to take home to share with our husbands. We tried the Chocolate Coconut Cupcake, Rosemary Shortbread, Bacon and Gruyere (I think) Pretzel Bread, and Peanut Butter and Jelly Bar. We also tried the Bacon Truffle Caramel Popcorn and the Orange Chipotle Caramel Popcorn by Chef Cordelia, which was delicious.


Even though we both felt there was a little too much going on - on top of all of the stuff we did look at, there was also a cheese counter and prepared food counter (salads and sandwiches, and possibly some breakfast foods) that we couldn't get to because of the line - I think it was a pretty successful research trip. I certainly understand why they're so popular - I think they do everything they do at a high enough quality that people see them as a one-stop shop. They also have a very clean design that I really liked (a lot of glass and black and white, and nothing too fussy). All things to keep in mind as I continue thinking up ideas for my own place!

Something New

Let me give you a little bit of history. I’m 29, just married to a great man (I’ll call him Mountain Man to protect his identity), have family nearby (and like it) and a ton of wonderful friends all over the world. If you ask anyone, they’ll tell you that I have always loved to read and when I decided to become an English major (after going from archaeology to medicine to music to business in my mind), there was a resounding “DUH” heard round the world. It made sense.

As soon as she heard it, my mom, who comes from a long line of worriers, started flipping through the classifieds, trying to find a job that would be appropriate for someone who majored in something as cloudy as English. What does one DO with an English degree? Success came one day when she found a publishing company located near the family home, and she tore out the ad and passed it along to me, who filed it away since I had three more years of college to get through. Upon graduating, I applied at the publishing company (we’ll call it “PubCo” to protect its identity) and got a job.

I’ve been with PubCo for seven years, have been promoted four times, and am now one of the acquisitions editors for their book division. And I’ve realized that I just don’t want to do it anymore.

I’m not going to say anything negative about PubCo, because this isn’t the place for that. I’m really not going to complain about my job at all either, because that’s not what I need and what I’m writing this for. All I will say is that I’m tired of working for someone else at something I’m pretty sure I don’t love. And as I told a friend of mine who was playing Devil’s advocate - why should I be doing something for 40 or 50 or 60 hours a week if I don’t love it?

I’ve started this blog to figure out how to take that next step. I pretty much know what I want to do - I want to cook and bake all day. I have grand plans for a small bakery that specializes in Lebanese finger food and rich desserts. Sort of a traditional French bakery (that serves bread, quiche, and sandwiches alongside fruit tarts, eclairs, and meringues), but with a twist.

The issue is really how to do it. So I’ve bought books and have started combing other blogs (some of which you’ll see on this site) and begun working on putting a plan together. This space will be to get feedback from friends, family, and maybe, people who have done this before and have advice.

So keep an eye out, feel free to ask questions or comment or (constructively) criticize. Don’t say anything mean or I’ll kick you out.